I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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