Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
