The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found the puke drawer
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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