Kiss
Puke
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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