If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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