Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I understand Curling. That high.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
