your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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