Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
