Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think my vagina is haunted
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
