I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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