How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
