I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
