She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
