he told me I talked like a deaf person
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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