So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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