Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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