Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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