margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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