imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
