Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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