I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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