If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
