My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
