when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
