I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
