come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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