based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
