Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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