So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
