You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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