i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We need to get me chipped asap
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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