We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
