Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
