so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
