Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
