I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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