im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
