I got chris browned last night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
