He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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