And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
