I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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