matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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