I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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