i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
