i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He shit in the fireplace
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