guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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