I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
