Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course