guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.