at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize