He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?