Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.