Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think people are normalizing furries
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
