i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
