i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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