My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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