Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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