sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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