what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
