We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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