meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
