i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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