She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
