Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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