so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
