I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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