Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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