I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
