I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
