Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
