Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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