If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
being pregnant is like rehab
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
