the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
